So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize