Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
