I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
