wakey wakey hands off snakey
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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