Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
