Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
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just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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