I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
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I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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