I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
