I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
