hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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