His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
