Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
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Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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