Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You can't special order awesome
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
