If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
