Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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