What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
someone owes me an orgasm
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
