And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
