It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
