So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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