I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize