How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
