Your tits are I can't wait for
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
