I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Terrible idea I love it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
