I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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