you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
