I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
