I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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