look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
