If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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