I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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