Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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