i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
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We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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