Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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