Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Can't talk, ducks in the car
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
