He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
