How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
