Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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