so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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