I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
