508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize