Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
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