But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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