I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
