Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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