Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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