i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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