operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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