A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As shirtless as possible
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize