I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
