I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
