Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.