my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car