Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
