??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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