Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
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I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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