Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
