Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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