Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
